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Hey bro,

Relationships are often seen as transactions.

Most people agree on this idea.

However, there are two kinds of transactions:

1. Overt Transactions: These involve the obvious, tangible things on a woman's checklist. But even if you check all the boxes, she might not feel the right connection with you. This shows that her checklist isn’t always what matters most.

2. Covert Transactions: These involve feelings, which are harder to define. People talk about having a genuine burning desire, but what is desire? It’s wanting something you don’t have, which means it’s an unmet need.

When you approach a woman with a transactional mindset, hoping to get sex or a relationship in return, she may feel obligated to fulfill that expectation.

But when she does, it often feels forced, and she may start to resent you.

You might also feel frustrated, even if you get what you want, because it won’t feel real or genuine.

This is why many guys avoid going to prostitutes—the straightforward, transactional nature of the interaction turns them off.

Some guys are fine with it because they’re only looking to get laid.

But in dating and relationships, if you approach things with a transactional mindset, it creates an unspoken contract she never agreed to.

You’ll feel like she owes you something, and she’ll feel indebted, which she hates.

Even if she eventually "pays you back," both of you end up with a bad outcome.

Desire isn’t something you can buy or trade for.

The moment a transaction becomes obvious, desire dies.

Why?

1. You get what you want, so you don’t desire it anymore: This is the nature of overt transactions.

2. What seemed like a genuine connection wasn’t free after all: This leads to disappointment, which is the problem with covert transactions.

This explains why women aren’t always satisfied with a guy who meets all the items on her checklist.

The overt transaction kills desire if it isn’t balanced by a covert transaction that hasn’t been fulfilled yet.

In most cases, it’s the desire to win a guy over that keeps her interested.

Whether she’s good at it or not is another story.

Until she succeeds in winning him over, the covert transaction isn’t complete, but the desire remains strong.

It’s during that pre-relationship phase, where she has to work for your attention, that she’s most invested.

Desire exists only as long as it’s unfulfilled.

Once it’s met, it starts to fade.

Desire lives in the space of unmet needs, and both overt and covert transactions eventually end that desire.

Have a good one!

-MOS