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Hey Brother,

In the classic book "The five love languages" by Gary Chapman, he describes the five languages as acts of service, gifts, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation.

Today I'm here to announce that there is a sixth: SPACE.

Having space in relationships is super important because it lets each person be themselves. But many relationships forget this and become all about merging together, which can often lead to co-dependency.

In these kinds of relationships, each person's identity revolves around meeting the other's needs. Usually, one person (often the guy) plays the role of the savior to the other. It's exhausting for both, even if the person playing the savior figure doesn't realize it.

Now, are all “merged” relationships unhealthy?

I wouldn't say so. I've seen two real-life examples that are very loving and sweet. They hardly ever argue and truly understand each other – it's not about hiding emotions, it's quite the opposite.

But even in these relationships, I can see they could benefit from a bit more space... because there's no difference between them. When you're with them, you see them as "one" – not as separate individuals.

There's definitely compatibility between the parties that leads to this dynamic. However, it's not the only thing happening, as these people tend to date others in the same way. It's a pattern.

That said, there's no "right or wrong" here – it's about finding balance, which is why I think it fits well as a "sixth" love language.

Some relationships take the idea of "we are one" very seriously, while others are highly independent – they may even give each other TOO much space.

For example, my relationship with my girlfriend falls into the latter category. One of the main things we've focused on in the past year is staying in touch more and doing more together. Being very independent can risk growing apart and dampening the flow of love – not losing your identity.

I appreciate that this is our "edge" to work on because I've been in co-dependent relationships before. I love that we don't have to feel guilty or strange about going places or seeing friends.

The question you need to ask yourself is: where do YOU stand on this spectrum?

In his must-read book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," Stephen Covey defined relationships as going through three stages: (co)dependent, independent, and interdependent. Interdependent is when you have two individuals working toward a common goal. They stay together by CHOICE rather than need.

Anyway, I'm sort of rambling here.

The point is, you should really assess your own relationship and how much contact you have.

All women want your attention, but healthy ones will also want space for themselves sometimes... and you need to stop being paranoid about it. Instead, you should ENCOURAGE it.

Independence is the ONLY way women can control their clingy tendencies. As a high-energy, high-value man, this is crucial.

A major sign of a healthy woman is that she can spend time away from you.

And if you don’t like this, maybe you’re not so healthy yourself.

Now, can this lead to avoidance with some women? No doubt. And that isn’t good.

Which is why I talk about such distinctions and "screening" in depth in my book "What Women Want"

Also covered red flags, the female shadow, and assessing a woman's psychological health.

Must-have information for men whose value covers the cost of the book alone. And yet it's only 15% of the material offered.

=> GET IT HERE

-MOS