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Hey Bruv,

In my recent email, I explained why the idea of women having superior social skills is a myth.

Once their attractiveness fades, their ability to manipulate also diminishes.

This made me think about male charisma.

When I was younger, I used to meet guys who seemed really charismatic—they were always the center of attention.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed fewer charismatic people around me.

It’s not that my peer group has gotten worse.

On the contrary, with more experience, I’ve become more skeptical about the goals people pursue.

I rarely meet anyone who truly impresses me.

For instance, I used to admire academics, but after spending time at university, I realized many are unsuccessful outside academia, even in STEM fields.

There’s a lot of corruption too, like professors favoring students from their own country or women getting higher positions based on criteria that wouldn’t benefit a man.

Another issue to consider is the private lives of others.

When you're young, you might admire someone with a fancy car, kids, and an attractive spouse, thinking they’ve achieved success.

But later, you might learn their kids misbehave, their spouse cheats, and their car wasn’t bought outright.

I’ve also encountered men who act tough but are actually controlled by their wives.

Some seemingly successful guys are secretly supported financially by their families, though they keep this quiet.

These experiences taught me not to assume anything about people.

In reality, very few achieve success purely through charisma and hard work.

Many have had significant advantages, like being able to afford unpaid internships that open doors in their industry.

Meanwhile, others who may be smarter or work harder don’t get these opportunities.

I also noticed that taking on a leadership role can temporarily boost your charisma.

For example, after giving a talk at a conference, people might approach you during breaks, which can be mistaken for natural charisma when it’s simply being visible.

Hierarchy plays a role too—people defer to those higher up.

When you’re at the bottom, joking for status with peers may happen, but in serious jobs, it’s less common.

As you move up in hierarchy and start managing others, you gain authority naturally, and people begin to respect and defer to you.

I’m not sure charisma really matters.

It seems like something people attribute to others without much reason.

For instance, a loud and outgoing guy who parties a lot and dates many women might be admired by some, but those who have done the same aren’t usually impressed.

Once you’ve accomplished your own goals in life, you probably won’t care much about others, and someone seen as charismatic might not affect you at all.

Until next time

-MOS