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Hey Brother,

Everyone knows at least one guy who disappears after getting a girlfriend. Before that, he was always around, friendly, maybe even the life of the party.

And then he meets a girl... and disappears completely.

He stops coming to parties and hangouts. He responds less and less to messages.

What’s happening? Why does this happen?

In every scenario, there's a common theme: the man craves female validation, and the woman is jealous and doesn't want him giving attention to anyone else but her.

This usually follows a pattern. She showers him with attention to make him focus solely on her. Once he's hooked, she starts to distance him from his friends and sometimes even his family.

There are two approaches she might take, depending on the dynamics:

Approach #1 (Weak Man, Controlling Woman): If the woman is "stronger," she'll directly complain about his friends or family. She'll say she doesn't feel good around them or that they're not accepting her, and she might suggest they're bad influences on him. This is a more aggressive manipulation; she openly controls him. But for weaker, conflict-avoidant men, this manipulation often works well.

Approach #2 (Bird with the Broken Wing): Another tactic involves the woman feigning weakness herself, playing on the man's guilt. She might say things like, "I don't feel like going out tonight, but it's okay, I'll just stay here alone," or "I'm not feeling well, I just want a quiet night in." She might even say, "Oh, I had plans for us that night, but if you'd rather hang out with your friends..." This tactic targets men who would resist overt control but have a tendency to play the savior. They lack the discernment to realize they're being manipulated.

It's important to note that women aren't limited to just one approach. They often blend or switch tactics over time. A woman who initially appears weak might use Approach #2, but as she gains confidence, she may start to overtly sever ties using Approach #1, especially after weakening them. In practice, women almost always use guilt; the difference lies in whether it's wielded from a position of strength (don't challenge me!) or weakness (don't abandon me!).

In practice, Approach #1 tends to be more effective over the long run compared to Approach #2. The reason is simple: it's quicker for a man to realize he's being manipulated than it is for him to gather the courage to stand up against it. Men dealing with women using Approach #2 typically start looking for a way out within a year or two, unless she's cunning and plays a slow game of gradual manipulation. However, men who are dominated by their partners can take decades to break free, and the abuse can become severe.

That's why if you notice a woman using either of these tactics on you, it's best to leave the relationship.

A healthy woman won't try to isolate you from your friends or family. Instead, she'll want to become a part of your social circle while also respecting your existing relationships. How often you spend one-on-one time with your friends once you're in a relationship varies depending on the relationship itself and your stage of life.

If you both have free time and live in the city, it's reasonable to have a night out with friends 1-2 times per week. As responsibilities increase, like having kids, meeting up 1-2 times a month might be more realistic. However, you can still enjoy more frequent casual meetups for lunch or coffee.

The main idea here is that your partner should be supportive of you spending time with friends and family as long as you're also nurturing your relationship with her and not overwhelming her with additional responsibilities. However, two important points to note before we wrap up:

Sometimes, it's the man himself who distances himself from his social network because he's emotionally needy with women. These guys crave constant attention from their partners, which can be a turn-off for women.

Sometimes, it's not the woman who pulls the man away from his friends, but the man himself. These guys are very needy when it comes to relationships and always want to be with their partner. However, this behavior can be a turn-off for women.

You can spot these guys because they often follow a pattern in relationships: they disappear when they're with a girl, only to reappear once the relationship ends, and then they repeat the cycle with a new partner.

While it's fair to call any guy who allows himself to be isolated from his family and friends "weak," for most guys, this happens because they're new to the situation and haven't experienced it before. It's not what they want, but they feel trapped, especially if they're married or have kids, before they fully realize what's happening.

However, it's a different story with guys who voluntarily leave their friends and then come back again. If you know someone like this, it's best to cut ties because he would prioritize his relationship with a woman over his friendships, and you can't trust him.

Lastly, there's another caveat to consider: maybe, just maybe, the woman is right to encourage a guy to spend less time with his friends and family.

This is much less common, so don't automatically assume this to be the case — certainly not 100% of the time — but it does happen. Your partner may not want you to hang out with your old friends because they are indeed bad influences.

You can figure this out by looking at your friends and family. Are they losers? Do they only drink, lack ambition, have poor morals, and show co-dependent behavior? Maybe they are even abusive and manipulative towards YOU. If so, when she pulls you away, she's doing it for your own good; she's trying to protect you from them.

Usually, though, when this comes into play, it's a mix of both them AND her manipulating you. She's in a fight with them about how they take advantage of you, because she wants to take advantage of you too. Interestingly, it's much easier for such a woman to control a man when her opposition is also trying to control him.

(Megan and Harry are a good example of this. No question she is a controlling woman, but is she entirely wrong about how the Royal Family has treated Harry?)

At any rate, enough said.

If you want to develop both the strength and discernment to avoid being controlled by women, my book "What Women Want" has decades of my experience compressed into one course.

==> CLICK TO GET IT HERE

-MOS