Pay attention

Hey Brother,

Got a question from an email subscriber, Let's hear it out...

"Hi MOS, I go to coffee shops a lot such as Starbucks which allows me to get work done on my computer and at the same time be productive while I get to watch a lot of girls walk in and out while drinking coffee, I noticed there are no shortages of girls there whether alone or with friends and I hardly see guys approach women at this spot except like thrice since I've been going there (I'm a regular). I see some chicks that come there over and over again including the ones that work there. I noticed some of them check me out and I have also been checking them out but I've not approached any of these girls since I've been studying Game from you through your emails and threads. I feel confident from your emails and threads to start approaching and trying to hook up but I keep hesitating, the reason is it's a place where everyone can hear everything so it's quiet and everyone is in a bubble which is causing me to approach anxiety plus I'm not sure if it's a good place to practice Game so here are my questions:

=> Is this a good spot to practice Game even though up until this point I have never tried and all these women know me for being the quiet guy who never approaches women?

=> Is my reputation damaged or can I start now?

=> If this is a good spot to practice Game then give me a step-by-step action plan to implement next time I walk in, the tool I have to work with is a business card with my name, phone number, and email address on there so please give me specifics on who to approach as far as the girls working there vs the girls chilling in there or walking in and also there are girl in line and girls outside.

=> Do I approach standing up or sitting down outside hand them my business card and tell them to call me, approach chicks and group girls alone, etc? I need the nuts and bolts of how to do this at these spots cause I said I've learned a lot from your emails and X threads but I'm still hesitating to pull the trigger I feel I'm close so maybe after your answer, shit will start moving in the right direction for me.

-M

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My response:

First of all, you have to get over this "thing" of being scared of approaching women because you think other people are watching you. As you said in your email question - you are not sure as it's quiet in there and people might be looking, well truth is no one cares cause everyone is in their little world to even worry about that, and even if they are all looking at you SO WHAT? Do it anyway.

One of the most important things to learn as a man is being BOLD. You are sitting in Starbucks seeing women you find attractive, most are checking you out and chilling then you have to push yourself to go out and talk to them. You have to do it even if you don't want to and taking the first step of being bold is key. The problem is in these situations, you are thinking way too much and putting way too much value on the situation. That's why you are asking for specific intricacies you could do to make shit happen but what you have to understand about Game is the thing you need to do at the moment when you need to do it will come up when you are in the moment.

Let's say you are at a party and the DJ is switching from song to song, say he switches to an upbeat song then your body will adjust to the upbeat tempo but say he slows it down then you will slow down your movement and like so you move depending on the song being played. You don't say "How should I dance to this song?" your body simply adjusts to the rhythm so when you see these women and you want to talk to them then the situation is going to dictate what you should do.

Say you see a girl sitting at a table reading a book and there is another seat next to her so what should you do?

You simply pull the chair up, sit down, and start talking to her. You sit down in that "situation" and talk to her cause a chair is there and she is sitting down so you can have a dialogue face-to-face while you are sitting down. Whatever you say in that conversation depends on the situation of what's happening at the moment. You sit down next to her and can indirectly say "Hey what's that book you are reading?" and then start a conversation.

If you are in a line and it doesn't matter whether you are standing behind or in front of her on a line then you can turn to her and say "So what are you getting on the menu and what do you recommend?" you are talking about something in that situation and that's an indirect way to start a conversation.

Let's say you are chilling, on your laptop and you are about to leave then you see some chicks that you find attractive. You could walk up to them before you leave and say something direct like "Hey, listen I was about to leave but I saw you walking and I thought you were really cute. What's your name? My name is [insert your name], we should get together, here is my card and give me a call."

So the situation dictates sort of what you should do but the thing is when you are thinking about it too much and hyper-focused on tips & tricks then you are never going to get to the point where you flow with it in a SMOOTH way. Understand that the way you can flow is to put yourself in situations and be BOLD enough to make a move so that you can then know what to do at that moment. Also, understand that a lot of times you are not going to know what to do until you are actually in that situation cause everything you are thinking about doing or what you think is the right thing is all based on an illusion cause you haven't done anything yet. You haven't approached her yet neither have you started talking to her.

So you said you have business cards, you can give chicks your card and be like "Yo, here is my card, call me on this day, and let's get together." Now when you give your card for the meetup, you force the girl to decide if she is going to go with it or not, and if she doesn't go with it then you talk to other girls that are there (cause like you said there are lots of women in there to talk to) now remember depending on your situation, paying attention to your surroundings is key as it provides the info you need to make that next move. All the "what should I do?, how should I make this happen?" questions can be answered until you are actually in the situation because the situation will dictate how you move. You can only move depending on what specific situation you are in and then what happens is that once you get good at talking to women, once you put yourself out there to talk then you will notice that you get a little bit more quick-witted when it comes to what you want to say and how you want to say it.

Ex:

If you were leaving Starbucks and a girl walked in, you might say "Oh man, I can't believe you are just getting here while I'm about to leave like let me talk to you for a second."

You will start to go off cause you are using the situation to help you get what you want so you can't underestimate your surroundings in situations that can get you to talk to these women. It's not "what do I do for A, B, C...Z" every single time. What gives is that all you need is to be bold FIRST because that boldness is going to make you approach the girl and strike up a conversation. So you have to push yourself first, once you push yourself in there then you get into that situation. Say you slightly bumped into a girl in Starbucks then your apology becomes a conversation but the slight bump kick-started it. Nothing is going to happen unless you push yourself out there cause once you do, those specific details that you notice are going to dictate what you should say and how you should move in those situations.

That's all from me. Hope you found value in this so if you have any questions then feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer.

Talk soon

Your bruv, mentor, and friend

-MOS