When Temporary Relationships Feel All Too Real

Hey Brother,

I had a conversation the other day that reminded me of something I’ve neglected to talk about—something I’ve been guilty of, and I know plenty of other guys have too.

You start dating a girl. You like her, but either you or she is leaving soon.

Maybe it's a job, school, or travel plans that will take one of you away.

So, you don’t take it too seriously—it’s a “temporary” relationship without a long-term future.

But here’s the thing: you enjoy each other’s company.

You decide to live in the moment, treating this relationship like it might go somewhere.

You go on vacations together, share intimate details of your lives, even though you both know the end is coming in a few weeks or months.

What’s the harm, right?

Well, maybe there’s no harm. In fact, maybe enjoying this time together is exactly what you should be doing.

But there’s a twist—you or she (probably both of you) might fall in love.

Now, maybe that’s a good thing.

Maybe it’s meant to be.

But often, it’s not.

You get close to someone you never would’ve gotten involved with long-term.

You either find yourself in a long-distance relationship you didn’t plan for, or you’re left with the emotional fallout of someone who got far more invested than they should have.

Whether that’s a good or bad thing depends on the situation. I mean, my wife and I started out similarly, and it worked out.

But here’s the reality: these intense, short-term relationships happen because time constraints intensify focus and emotions.

Think about it—when you know time is limited, it makes you more present, more intentional.

You spend more time together, create more memories, and focus on each other in ways you might not in a “normal” relationship.

That short period of time feels way longer because it’s so concentrated.

And that intensity?

It can be tricky.

It might lead to emotional connections that feel deeper than they actually are.

You open up more, let your guard down—after all, what’s the harm?

It’s temporary, right?

But here’s the thing: this amplified connection can make something temporary feel like a real romance, even when it might not be.

So, what’s the takeaway?

Ask yourself if this is someone you truly want to invest your emotions in, especially knowing the risks.

Are you ready to face the possibility of a long-distance relationship?

Are you prepared to rearrange your life if it becomes more serious?

If not, it might be wiser to keep things casual.

Spend time together, sure, but not so intensely that it leads to something neither of you are ready for.

But perhaps the bigger lesson is how much we hold ourselves back emotionally in relationships.

Sometimes, it takes a “temporary” situation to finally let someone in.

And if you find that you only open up in these fleeting moments, or struggle to connect emotionally in general, it’s worth thinking about.

Because that means you’re only allowing yourself to be vulnerable when it’s least convenient—and often, most painful.

Think about it.

Best,

-MOS