Why you don't want to meet a woman who is too submissive

Yo Bro,

In the world of men’s dating advice, a common theme is the desire for a “submissive woman.”

You’ve probably heard it before: “The West is full of these boss babes! I just want a woman who will cook, clean, fold my clothes, and stroke my head at night.”

It sounds nice in theory.

\But in practice?

I think it’s missing something important.

For me personally (and I admit this is just my preference), a truly fulfilling relationship needs a bit of spark, a little fire to fuel the passion.

Sweetness and feminine qualities are wonderful, but they’re even better when paired with some personality and spirit.

As with most things, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

Of course, I prefer a woman who isn’t overly masculine in her demeanor.

That’s natural—attraction thrives on polarity, not similarities.

But there’s a point where too much compliance becomes unattractive.

A friend of mine once told me he loves how his Japanese girlfriend clips his toenails for him.

That’s great for him, but for me, that’s a step too far.

I enjoy it when a woman is nurturing and feminine, but I don’t want her to feel like a serf.

And it’s not about political correctness—I simply find it unattractive when a woman doesn’t have her own voice, opinions, or boundaries.

Here’s the thing: attraction often thrives on a bit of a chase.

It’s human nature to value what isn’t immediately handed to us.

This is why men are advised not to chase women, not to pedestalize them, and not to prioritize them over their own missions.

It’s about maintaining respect and mystery in the dynamic.

Women naturally screen for neediness, especially in today’s dating market, where their options are plentiful.

But men can fall into the same trap, particularly those with more options or a tendency toward avoidant behavior (like me).

In my experience, I’ve always been more drawn to women who keep me on my toes rather than those who are overly eager.

Take my relationship as an example.

For the first year, we were casual. I didn’t push for a commitment, but more importantly, neither did she.

It wasn’t until much later during a heated argument, no less that she asked me outright how I felt about her.

At that moment, I told her the only thing that was true: I loved her.

But had she been less independent or less fiery, I doubt we would have lasted.

That’s why I’m not looking for someone who’s overly submissive.

I want a partner with her own life, her own opinions, and the confidence to express them.

At the same time, I value feminine energy—how she dresses, how she treats me, and the care she puts into the relationship.

My girlfriend embodies this balance.

She’s nurturing and feminine while still being strong and assertive when needed.

Perhaps this blend is easier to find outside the Anglosphere.

Women from Eastern Europe or Latin America, for example, often bring that perfect combination of femininity and fire.

My girl is a Latina

For me, that’s the ideal.

But what about you?

Do you agree, or do you see things differently?

Feel free to reply and share your thoughts. I’d love to hear your perspective.

Best,

-MOS